Are You Afraid of Your Darkness?
A Guide on Exploring the Darkness Within to Discover the Light.
Going into the darkness is the only way you’re going to find the light. In recent years, months, weeks and days this becomes more evident to me. Every time I feel the pang of grief, allow myself to fully go into it, somehow I come out the other side feeling blessed.
Think about it, you can’t even see the light without darkness, it simply wouldn’t exist. In a dimension of polarity where the positive needs the negative and the summer needs the winter, the light needs the dark.
Can we learn to accept the darkness without judgement? And accept the light with non-attachment? If our ego is involved, then no. It clings to the supposed ‘good’ in the world in a ‘hedonistic’ search for pleasure and pushes away the ‘bad’ associating it with despair and death.
When we resist the darkness, we push it away and as Carl Jung famously said, what we resist persists. If we don’t learn to embrace the darkness for what it is, you’re going to be in for a world of suffering, believe me, I know. It shows up differently for everyone but no one is exempt, if you don’t face it in this lifetime, it will find you in the next.
Not that I want to be the bearer of bad news, and let’s face it I don’t know the whole truth this is just what I understand to be true. However it seems to be the general consensus of anyone who has faced a dark night of the soul, embarked on the shadow work journey, connected with the True Self and has caught a glimpse of the light that we must learn to love and accept all of our experience in this human reality.
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In 2021 I had cancer and this is where I started to embrace the darkness that I had been repressing. It was on my very worst days when the chemo, the steroids and the hormone injections were rife in my system that I had to face what real darkness looked like.
The toxic cocktail of chemicals in my body showed me my pain, the pain I had repressed for so long, potentially lifetimes. I feel as though I was numb before this. Yes I’ve been angry and yes I’ve been sad but before this I was always distracting myself and chasing pleasure and unreal happiness. I was forced to face it and over the last two years I have had some of my darkest days.
It’s only now though, that I understand this darkness has to emerge and I have to face it all. The repressed emotion I didn’t know how to cope with, the frustration at the results I was seeing in my external reality, the disappointment I have experienced over the years, the fear and my own perceived smallness.
Tell me, can you relate? Well if you can’t I doubt you're reading this, if you can you’re probably hanging around because you know there is some truth in it. It resonates.
If you have ever had the urge to scream, not knowing where the energy came from or woken up depressed for no apparent reason then you know what I’m talking about. Your darkness is coming into the light for you to love and accept it. The shadows are showing themselves to you, your truth is coming to the surface.
The darkness is simply a part of you, a part of humanity and a part of this beautiful, magical universe. It can’t be summer all the time. When you can accept your darkness you make space for the sun to shine in its full spectrum of light.
I know through embarking on my own shadow work journey, the extreme external situations that have brought up these emotions (like cancer & business insolvency) have also brought with them a huge sense of empowerment. But only once I had fully felt the emotion of where I was.
You see through the frustration, the anger, the shame, you realise it isn’t real. By giving yourself the gift of meditating on these emotions and fully experiencing them, you release them and with that, the power they hold over you.
Then your question is, what do you want to use this new empowered energy for? What will you create? Because loved & integrated emotion turns into creative energy. From this space, you can create the life of your dreams with non attachment and non judgement, in alignment with the True Self rather than being controlled by the fear of your ego.
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